your parents love me but you hate me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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