Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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