sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
