Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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