She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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