I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
