ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
