she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize