After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You're like the curious george of whores
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
