i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We are all done wearing pants today
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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