Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
