I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
