He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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