Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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