I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
