Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize