he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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