Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
