I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
