butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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