he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
