Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
