I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
