I want to stick my p in your. b.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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