I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
