dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
