Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
