oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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