It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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