look no pants
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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