question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
