There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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