The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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