I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
