Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
