I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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