How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
