Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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