He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize