i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
