I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
