Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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