I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
