remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
