Plan B is the new Plan A
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
