I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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