Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.