I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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