yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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