All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
