they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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