I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
