Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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