Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just high enough for therapy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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