You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
