A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
