You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
