Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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