im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
