Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
