two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
