Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize