i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
