i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
