Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
