I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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