the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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