No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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