i think i have two assholes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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